It is no secret that our lives come with a lot of struggles. We often have problems in financial, social, educational, emotional, romantic, and family relationships. Sometimes, there are instances that all of these burdens are intangible. That no matter how tough we try, these unwanted life issues continue to harm us in various ways we could ever imagine. With all the energy deceleration, motivational downfall, and decreased willingness to try, we become a prisoner of our negativity. And because we get pressured with all the things we can’t seem to handle, we begin to practice unnecessary habits that ruin our happiness. But what are those habits that move us away from enjoying our lives? Here’s a psychologist’s guide.
Expectations
It is people’s nature to often look forward on things that either matter or not. That is okay. In life, we don’t get to choose and have anything we want. But what ruins the flow of handling tomorrow are the expectations we instill in our heads. There is this assumption that when we work hard, we always achieve better things. We rely on what we think is about to come positively. Psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson has concluded that “positivity helps “broaden our ideas about possible actions, opening our awareness to a wider range of thoughts and actions than is typical.” But when we fail to meet the established desires, we begin to lose control of everything.
Overthinking
One of the best characteristics of sustaining happiness is thinking through things that create an impact on life. However, overdoing it is harmful. Sharon Martin, LCSW, and a psychotherapist said, “People who overthink feel like their brains won’t turn off.” It is understandable that we feel worried about stuff that is going on in our lives. We want to evaluate things so we can work on solutions for any particular matter. But the problem lies in our method of handling and coping. We often create scenarios in our head that are most likely irrelevant and unrealistic. As a result, we end up doing nothing at all.
Too Much Sensitivity
It is nice to know that we care about stuff around us. We know how to think critically, and we value life as it is. However, too much involvement in everything is something not all of us can handle all at once. Some individuals seem not to care about things in their lives. And there are ones like us who feel overly sensitive about every detail of our lives. That particular habit of having too much sensitivity creates an unpleasant emotional and mental instability. Yes, some may find it a reliable quality, but others may also feel it as a burden to achieving happiness.
Pessimism
It is not that bad to think about negative things for some instances. It can be a significant way to picture out resolutions to a life issue. But what makes it undesirable is consistency. According to Scary Mommy website, when we often look out for problems even though there’s entirely nothing wrong, it moves us away from the good things of life. We begin to disregard our capability of handling what is in front of us. We start to believe that all the efforts we do are not enough. We lose our sense of worthiness. We become dependent on what other people say. We stick to the cause of problems and avoid looking for answers.
Selfishness
Perhaps some of us can use selfishness in reaching specific goals. We might never know, there might be a lot of people who already made it through success with its help. However, the danger of selfishness is endless. It can break good relationships, it can tear down emotional and mental strength, and it can take away happiness and fulfillment. It can also destroy a positive personality, it can become a social burden, and the list goes on. Selfishness is never a good thing. And even though there are people who master the art of using it for personal achievements, there is a guarantee that they are not happy. You can find a similar discussion in The Bump website.
In life, there are things we still don’t know. But it does not mean we have to stop leaning towards what is best for us. Licensed psychologist and marriage and family counselor Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker said, “What all this means on a practical level is that deciding to emphasize the positive is the key to a happy and productive life.” If we ask ourselves what one thing would we like to achieve in life, I get the vibes it would be happiness. The idea of feeling great and fulfilled in life is incomparable to what goes beyond it. So for us to be able to appreciate things we are living for, we need to have a willingness to change these habits.