“As individuals, we benefit greatly from learning skills to manage our emotions, cope with our inner critics and become assertive. The same is true for couples: Our romantic relationships also benefit greatly when we take the time to learn and practice the skills that cultivate connection,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. But we shouldn’t overdo this connection.
There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your relationship, mainly if you wanted to stay away from a toxic situation. It is crucial to exert an effort for your spouse or significant other as long as you know that you are happy and don’t feel pressure at all. But sometimes, you have to keep it as low key as possible because overdoing things in a relationship might cause an imbalance.
Consistent Checking – It’s normal to know your partner’s activities and interest, but continuously asking him about the same thing over and over again can start a complication. It’s not healthy in a relationship because when he gets annoyed, he might consider lying about the things that you frequently ask him such as the people he tries to connect with and priorities that he needs to do. You can let him be once in a while, so he won’t feel that he’s been choked to stay in a relationship where trust is becoming an issue.
Remember that, “You are not your relationship. Just because your relationship is in trouble, it does not mean you are a failure. Your relationship is an entity that involves you, but it is not you, and it does not determine your worth,” says Harriet Pappenheim, LCSW.
Keeping Him On Radar – keeping him on your radar will do no good. He might feel pressured that you keep on asking for his whereabouts. Though it is understandable that you have the right to know the details on his every location, it will still not strengthen the bond of your relationship because you are blocking him to do the things that he likes to do. He will feel that his freedom is on the line and eventually end up losing interest in the relationship.
Apologizing Too Much – Yes, it’s important to mend things between the two of you especially when something needs fixing. However, overdoing an apology is not going to work when you keep on making the same mistakes over again. You should consider working on the proper adjustments and not just apologize for the act. You have to make a stand at least and do necessary actions concerning your behavior.
Clinging All The Time – There’s no problem in showing affection when you are in a relationship. However, there’s always a limitation in doing an act. Clinging is a way of telling your spouse or partner that you are genuinely and emotionally attached to them, but frequently clinging unto him is irritating. He might lose interest in spending time with you because it will not serve its purpose anymore. His priorities can get affected because he’ll feel obliged to be around you all the time instead of working on things that require much of his time.
Creating A Drama – It’s probably one of the things that your significant other would want to avoid. No one likes to deal with tons of dramas in a relationship. As much as possible, things should have their level of importance to both of you so you can work out your own set of priorities. Too much crying, complaining, and demanding will eventually lead to a toxic and hurtful relationship.
“Perhaps blowups between you and your partner are occurring more regularly. Or ongoing sticky issues and irritations are causing increased tension and resentment. If you have had little success working through relationship issues, find yourselves avoiding each other, or using hostile words or actions that cause emotional or physical hurt, professional counseling may help,” a reminder from Jane Framingham, Ph.D.
When you think about the important things that truly matter in your relationship, you can easily avoid these damaging habits. Try to focus on the holistic approach, and you’ll love how you mental, physical, and emotional balance are developing.