Suffering from severe stress due to the process of undergoing a divorce can increase the risk of having health problems. The significant changes in your life are sometimes unmanageable that you might end up experiencing mental, physical, and emotional health issues.
The process of divorce can make you feel alone, lonely, depressed, desperate, and hopeless. All the negative things come to you and sometimes stick for a very long period. In trying to understand what you need to do to overcome and fight the stress from your failed marriage, you have to determine the factors that affect your overall dysfunction. It’s an excellent opportunity to envision a resolution and get a holistic counseling approach that can support your developmental growth. As what marriage therapist Chana Levitan writes, “Accept and allow.”
Denial can take place when you disregard your marital issues. It’s like trying to convince yourself that you are not affected throughout the process, but in reality, it weakens you. In most cases, you try to tell yourself that things will change and eventually will get better. But the sad part is, the effect of divorce can bring too many complications on the emotional status. You’ll end up having a long-term struggle in dealing with grief from a failed relationship. You need to understand that the only thing that can save you from the devastation is to wholeheartedly accept that your marriage is over and you have to move on and start a new life without your ex-partner.
In dealing with the process of divorce, your personality changes as well. You develop intense anger that would sometimes hurt yourself. You will eventually do things that are out of your character and sometimes end up in dangerous instances that you know you’re not supposed to get into. “You get angry when you want an apology, when you want someone to change their behavior, etc.,” said psychologist Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. Your anger is the culprit in blocking your happiness. So before you genuinely make a clear view of what you want in life after the sad experience of divorce, you need to forgive yourself and learn to lower down the aggravation. If you intentionally use anger as a coping mechanism to fight over the stress of your failed relationship, the only thing you can get is pain and suffering.
There’ll be a time that you will consider bargaining to be able to save your marriage. Even if it costs you your happiness, you’ll probably think that it won’t matter as long as you try to keep your marital state for the sake of your long-term commitment. The truth is, the act of bargaining for your happiness will not help you at all. It will only lock you in a situation that you can no longer get out from. Keeping the idea of marriage through bargaining is not a winning situation but a prison of miseries and heartaches. You need to stand up for better decisions that will give you the ultimate goal of freeing yourself from the harsh truth of a failed relationship.
A divorce is a process that attracts negativity. Sometimes you’ll end up not knowing yourself anymore. But when you think about it from a different perspective, perhaps it’s useful in helping you see things in a bigger picture. According to clinical psychologist, Susan Heitler Ph.D., “Better to end a marriage than to continue a marriage with these hurtful habits.” The sad moment in your life will give you a chance to develop your sense of purpose and maturity so that you’ll be able to understand that you need to grow and make valuable decisions that can change your life forever.