When I was only starting my first job as a marketing assistant, I feared losing my job before I was ready. After all, I had a lot of bills to pay at the time. I was renting my apartment, paying my car mortgage, and trying to live in an expensive city through my minimum wage. I had not even included my student loans in the equation, but I would most likely have to couch-surf or live in my car if I did.
Because of that, I tried hard to be likable in the company and learn everything as fast as possible so that my bosses would not think of replacing me immediately. It entailed spending my office breaks in my desk, typing away, or watching tutorials on doing this or that. If anyone invited me for a group lunch or dinner, I would say yes, even if the gathering would bring me down to my last dollar.
I would say it worked. My sacrifices and determination worked. After all, there was a vacancy for a senior marketing role a year later, and I took a shot and applied for it. Others might have been discouraged to do that, especially if they were still rookies in the field like me, but since I got close with my bosses and earned their respect, I got the job. It allowed me to have an office of my own and a higher salary.
I managed to stay in the same company for a decade. I took on various vital roles until I decided to stick with a marketing executive post. I could have gone for the chief marketing officer position if I wanted to, but I was pretty happy and contented with my current role. As I mentioned above, my only goal was to avoid getting sacked, and I believe that would be almost impossible since I was no longer at the base of the hierarchy.
When Things Changed
When the pandemic happened, my company decided to make us all do our jobs in the safety of our homes. I missed going to the office every day and chatting up my coworkers between breaks, but I supported remote work 100%. Ever since I worked from home, I got to revive my plants, catch up with the movies and TV shows that I did not get to watch before, and even learn how to do yoga.
Despite all that, I was among the millions of people who assumed that the pandemic would disappear after a few months. Once the lockdown was almost over, I even ordered some new clothes online to prepare myself for when the bosses would call us back to the office. Hence, you could imagine how surprised I was when I received an email from the HR department informing me that they were laying off 200 people – and that number included me.
On the same night, I received countless texts and missed calls from my coworkers who received the same email. Some of them said they expected it to happen, but many were devastated because they could not survive without a job. The company would provide a separation pay for all, but there were so many of us, so it might take weeks – if not months – before we could collect the money.
How I Took The News
My mother learned about it through her favorite morning news show the next day, and she called me immediately. When I informed her that I was one of those people who got laid off, she felt sad. She was well-aware of my initial desperation to keep my job when I was still starting and perhaps assume that that’s still the case ten years later.
“Honey, if you need anything – food, gas money, or rent money – just let me know, okay?” my mom said.
“Oh, no, mom, you can keep your money,” I replied with a short laugh. “I have enough savings and do not need to work for at least two years. I already paid off my car earlier this year, and I gave my landlord 12 months’ worth of rent, so I’ll be fine.”
My other friends called after my mother, and we had the same conversation. They were all sympathetic, but they also sounded surprised when I insisted that I was okay. Of course, I could not blame them because it was the worst time for most people not to have a job, but I was already financially secure, so I was not worried about it.
When the office counselor called to help me cope with the loss of my job, she was so fascinated by my way of thinking that she encouraged me to share it with the world. In reality, I did not feel any different. I worked hard in the last ten years and saved a significant portion of my salary every month to have enough money to spend in cases like this. I did not expect it to happen during my early 30s, but fate dealt me with this card, and I won’t let it bother me.
When the governor announced the lockdown for the first time last year, my roommate and I decided to move back to our parents’ homes and isolate from them. We worked in the same company as web developers, so our bosses were okay with us working remotely. So we let go of the apartment and bid our goodbyes to each other.
Living With My Parents Again
My parents lived on a farm in Nebraska, where they took care of cattle and sheep. Mom and dad were thrilled when they found out that I was moving back home because they always complained that I might have been loving the city air too much that I could not stay with them longer than a couple of days every visit. There was no work-from-home option in the past in my defense, so I always needed to cut my trip short.
I would say that being a farm girl was extremely enjoyable, specifically because my parents’ neighbors were a mile away. This meant that we could go outside the house without wearing a mask or worrying about contracting the coronavirus. They also had crops in the land and a barn full of food supply, so we practically never had to leave the place to buy anything. We would watch the news before dinner every night and hear those people complaining about being unable to breathe because of their masks, and we could not relate because we never had to do that on the farm.
Despite that, when the news about COVID-19 vaccines being formulated broke out, my parents and I were all for it. We were safe from a viral infection, but we could not stay there forever. After all, once the vaccination process started, it might not take long before the company would call me back to the office since the global health threat would be controlled by then. As for my parents, even if they had everything they might need on the farm and more, they would have to go out and sell livestock elsewhere to keep generating money. If none of us took the vaccine, we would have a much higher chance of getting infected.
Learning About Others’ Opinions
Once my parents and I got our first dose of the Pfizer vaccine, I thought of calling my roommate. We were friends, but since I got too busy with farm life, I did not talk to her as much as I promised to do before we parted ways. She picked up my call at once, and we chatted about all of her escapades ever since going back home.
Unlike my family, my roommate lived in Miami, Florida. Not only did it have the best weather, but it also served as home for a lot of party animals. She disclosed that she had been to at least five home parties just this month.
“Oh, that’s what I miss!” I exclaimed. “Once I get my second dose of vaccine, I would fly to Miami, and you can take me to all the parties you get invited to.”
“Oh,” my roommate said. “My parents don’t want to get vaccinated because of all the news about some people dying immediately after getting the vaccine. Even if I do not believe that it happens to everyone, they’re forbidding me to get the vaccine as well.”
All I could reply in that instant was, “Everyone can hold on to their opinions.” I was aware of some people’s opposition to vaccines. I also believe that the human body can react negatively to it, and that can cause people to die. However, the chance of that happening was one in a million, and I did not expect to personally know anyone who firmly believed they had an extremely high chance of dying due to the vaccine.
My mother, who was a retired counselor, walked in on me looking baffled.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked.
“Well, I had a mind-boggling conversation with my former roommate. Her parents refused to sign up for COVID-19 vaccination,” I said.
“They worry about dying because of the vaccine. They did not think of the higher possibility of them contracting the virus and dying because of it. Should I call my friend again and tell her that?” I asked.
My mother smiled. “Of course, you can do that. But you should also know that you can’t force others to follow your lead. But if I were them, it’s better to think of it in a positive light. Instead of thinking of becoming one in a million, they should believe that they will be among the 999,999 people who will survive the vaccination.”
That was thoughtful advice that I shared with my friend. She discussed it at length with her parents, and I got a text two days later that they were on their way to the nearest vaccination center. The process went even better than they expected, considering neither my friend nor her parents got a fever or any side effect post-vaccination.
If you still doubt whether you should get vaccinated or not, think of what my mom said.
Are you interested in getting counseling services? If your answer is yes, then you have to start with finding the right counselor for you. A good relationship between the patient and counselor is essential because the result greatly depends on it.
Read on to get some tips on finding the right counselor for you.
First, you have to consider your condition, budget, and health insurance coverage. There are various kinds of counseling services. Typically, they cater to different mental health conditions.
You can also choose between an individual, couple, or family therapy. Moreover, mental health providers also have different specializations.
Another thing you have to consider is your budget. Check which mental health services are under your health insurance. There may be limits on the health insurance coverage, so you have to consider your funds before moving on.
Next, try to seek referrals. There are several ways to find a counselor. One tip is to refer to the list of providers of your health insurance.
You can also ask your family members and friends if they know some counseling centers they could recommend. Moreover, some mental health organizations may help and refer some counselors for you.
The third step is to check the counselor’s and clinic’s credentials. Make sure to look into their education, training, and license. Check whether your condition and the provider’s specialization are a good match.
Also, examine if the clinic’s treatment approaches fit your condition or not. You can also look for reviews from previous patients.
Next, you have to determine whether you are comfortable with the counselor. During your first appointment with the counselor, you can instantly gauge if you feel comfortable. It is essential that you feel relaxed when talking with them because it greatly affects the results.
Trust is an important factor in the healing process. You have to trust your counselor enough to tell them about your feelings and experiences.
Now you’ve chosen your counselor, here are some frequently asked questions to help you through the counseling process.
What are the counseling services?
Many institutions are now offering counseling services to take care of their community’s well-being. The counseling services usually cater to:
Referrals self-help resources
What are the 3 types of therapy?
There are several types of therapy available for people suffering from mental or emotional distress. Some types of therapy are
Dialectical Behavior Therapy,
Eye Movement Desensitization
How do you know if a counselor is right for you?
There are three things to consider in choosing the right counselor for you: safety, capability, and connection. Your counselor should make you feel safe to share essential details about yourself. The counselor should also display competence in answering and dealing with your concerns.
Importantly, you should listen to your gut whether the therapist is right for you. Observe if you feel heard and understood. Make sure you can freely express your emotions and thoughts.
How much is a typical counseling session?
The cost of a typical counseling session usually averages from $60 to $120. If you’re covered by health insurance, the average rate can fall from $20 to $50 per session. Expenses vary on the number of booked sessions and the health insurance coverage.
What are the five stages of counseling?
The basic counseling structure usually includes
Rapport/ relationship building
Setting of goals
The five stages of counseling show constant progress from one step to the next. It aims to achieve the client’s goal and enhance well-being.
What can I expect from a counseling session?
You should expect to answer general and personal questions about yourself. At first, you’re going to talk about yourself, including your occupation, academic background, hobbies, and interests.
As the session progresses, it might require you to answer questions about your childhood, relationships, and others.
A counseling session usually lasts for 50 minutes and must occur in private. It should be in a quiet room with just the two of you present. Before going to anything else, the counselor or therapist must first discuss confidentiality and session plans.
What is the difference between therapy and counseling?
Therapy focuses more on your thoughts, behaviors, and self-perception. It tries to uncover underlying patterns that contribute to you as an individual. Meanwhile, counseling often focuses on a specific issue.
Therapy usually lasts longer. Counseling attempts to resolve a particular problem for a limited time.
What are the 4 types of talk therapy?
There are many types of talk therapy. Some talking therapies include
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy
Counseling, Behavioral Activation
Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)
What is the best type of therapy for anxiety?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the most effective therapy for anxiety disorders. It is also an efficient treatment for other disorders like anxiety, phobias, among several other conditions.
Can I trust a therapist?
It’s completely understandable not to trust your therapist right away. It can be challenging to open up to a stranger right off the bat. Your reaction may stem from your experiences as well. It may take some time to establish a therapeutic relationship.
However, a good therapist can make you feel secured through time. Remember that therapies and counseling sessions observe confidentiality. Nothing you say will leave the session without your consent.
Do therapists judge you?
Everyone has judgments. However, therapists base their judgments on knowledge and not on gossip. They look at your behavioral patterns and thought processes for a diagnosis. Therapists don’t use it as a topic at lunch with friends.
Will a therapist tell you your diagnosis?
The delivery of diagnosis must be a collaborative process within the therapeutic relationship. You have the right to know your diagnosis. It’s also essential to take part in the discussion about the matter.
If you’re not comfortable knowing your diagnosis, it’s better to discuss it with your therapist. They may have a requirement to give a diagnosis as part of insurance coverage.
Is therapy worth the money?
Therapy is worth your money. However, it’s necessary to know that therapy doesn’t solve your problems. You have to do the hard work to solve or find relief in the issues you’re dealing with.
While some therapy may seem expensive, it’s a good investment. It helps in making good choices in the future.
How much does a therapist cost a month?
The average cost of therapy ranges from $65 to $250 per hour. Depending on your state, you can spend $100 to $200 for a therapy session. Many factors affect the therapy cost, such as the therapist’s training and reputation, location, insurance coverage, session length, and specialization.
What do you do if a therapist is too expensive?
There are various options for you if you find yourself unable to afford professional help. First, you may try to go to a training clinic. You can find these clinics are in universities where graduate students are preparing to become clinical psychologists.
You may also visit your community health center. Some provide free or low-cost therapy options and services covered by the state government.
You may also join support groups and ask local therapists for book recommendations to become aware of quality resources. Also, check your insurance as they can provide a list of providers appropriate for your situation.
Counseling is a great way to help improve your mental and emotional concerns. It has proven to be effective in managing anxiety and other conditions over the years.
It is essential to find the right counseling service, but it can be challenging. Counseling services are not “one size fits all,” so you have to be thorough with choosing a clinic and a counselor. Mental health providers have different specialties.
Remember that it does not matter how you and your provider are far along in the process. You shouldn’t be afraid to consult a different counselor if you think your current counselor is not right for you.
Remember, though, that counseling goes both ways. You have to cooperate with your counselor for the process to work. Answer their questions as honestly and as you can.
Also, trust them enough to say as much of your feelings. All information may play an essential role in the results of your counseling. Always be prepared for your appointments.
However, you have to inform your counselor if you feel uncomfortable sharing specific experiences with them. They understand how difficult it is to share your traumatic experiences with other people. They trained to help people overcome their problems without causing further trauma.
The number of appointments you will have with your counselor depends on your progress. Do not worry if you’re taking too long to heal. Counseling takes time. Be patient throughout the process and avoid skipping appointments to avoid messing up your progress.
Maintain a good relationship with your counselor and always do your assignments. All these little details will affect the results of your counseling.
Always remember that investing in your mental health is essential. Do not hesitate to find and consult a counselor to help you overcome your traumas and other concerns. As opposed to what most people say, counseling is not just for mentally ill people. It can help everyone.
I had been interested in empathy ever since my psychology teacher in high school said that empathy was one of the little ingredients that could make or break a person. Our classroom discussion went on like this:
Teacher: Suppose you go to school every day with your head held too high, and you cannot be bothered to look at classmates who need your help. What will happen when you need help from them?
Student: No one will pay attention to you.
Teacher: Correct! What do you think will happen if you always try to understand others and find a way to help them?
Student: They will do the same for you.
Teacher: Yes, that’s correct! Acting like the student in the first scene shows that you have zero empathy and do not care about other people. As a result, they will not waste their energy trying to care for you. Consequently, when you become empathic towards others, they will not hesitate to return the favor anytime.
What is the theory of mind, and how does it develop?
The theory of mind refers to a person’s ability to understand how others think or feel. According to studies, it starts as early as infancy. For instance, when a baby sees their parents crying, they may do the same even if they cannot possibly know what has caused their mom and dad to cry.
When the kids reach early childhood, that’s when they manage to connect actions to emotions. It also evident in children who throw a fit at the mall when they can’t get the toys they want, knowing that their parents will have no choice but to buy the toys to stop their tantrums. Similarly, the kids may realize that the adults may not believe what they are saying unless they show it.
As they grow up, these youngsters will predict what someone will say or feel before doing it. They may also understand the real meaning behind others’ actions and expressions.
Who came up with the theory of mind?
David Premack and Guy Woodruff thought of using the term “theory of mind” in 1978.
Is the theory of mind universal?
Yes, the original assumption is that the theory of mind is universal. Various studies have tried to disprove it, but they have failed to do so.
What is the theory of mind and autism?
The theory of mind pertains to understanding an individual’s feelings and thoughts before they even open their mouths or change their expressions or behaviors. However, studies have shown that people in the autism spectrum find it challenging to figure out others’ minds. As a result, they cannot communicate properly with other folks.
How does the mind develop?
The mind develops by allowing people to gain new experiences. The development can begin when an infant starts to see their surroundings and recognize faces, colors, or situations. For instance, if they are used to seeing their mom or dad all the time, they may know it if another person is in front of them. Then, they either cry or let others hold them – a sign that the baby is aware of the stranger and feels either scared or curious.
Can you teach the theory of mind?
Yes, you can teach the theory of mind. Many specialists tend to train autistic individuals to recognize, analyze, and interpret others’ emotions and actions. This way, they can interact with people and lead a regular life.
What is the theory of mind example?
Hunger is an ideal example of the theory of mind. Since you feel hungry, you want to act on your desire to eat any food to get your hands on. Then, you realize that others can feel that way out of hunger, too. In this case, the theory of mind is somehow connected to the attribution theory.
Kindness is another example of the theory of mind. When you show compassion towards others, you can make them happy. This emotion is revealed through a smile, a handshake, or even a hug, which lets you know that being kind can result in positive things.
Is the theory of mind an executive function?
An executive function pertains to a neural process that dictates how you will behave, think, and feel during a particular situation. Since executive functions develop in the same brain area related to the theory of mind, many experts believe that the latter is an executive function.
What is the false belief in the theory of mind?
Specialists use the false-belief task to assess a kid’s mental development.
Suppose a boy and a girl are asked to bring two lunchboxes to the cafeteria. Both have a sandwich in each lunchbox, but only the girl has a juice box. When she gets up, she does not see the boy move the juice box to his lunchbox before leaving, too.
The girl will fail the task if the teacher tells her to bring out the juice box, and she opens the boy’s lunchbox, knowing full well that it is not supposed to be there. She will succeed if she goes straight to her lunchbox.
How does the false belief test measure development of the theory of mind?
The false-belief test is typically used to measure kids’ development between the ages of 4 and 5, considering that’s when they start deductive reasoning. What happens is that the specialist presents two options, and they need to choose the correct one. Say, between a pen and chalk, what will you use to write on a blackboard?
If the child picks chalk, it entails that their mind is developing well. In case they select the pen, they fail the false-belief test. The reality is that people with autism tend to fail this test.
The theory of mind has had such a massive impact on my teenage self that I ended up getting a bachelor’s degree in psychology for this reason. It turned out to be an incredible decision, given that I went on to become a licensed psychologist and help many people understand the positive and negative effects of their actions.
I watched the movie Ugly Dolls a little while back. Yes, I know it is for kids. No, I have no children of my own or nephews and nieces who begged me to watch it with them. But I felt intrigued after seeing the characters on the poster, so I went to the cinema just for it.
When the movie was already playing, I thought, “I would have missed out on such an incredible work of art if I didn’t do this.” Beyond the beautiful animation and songs was a storyline that more adults than children could relate to.
(Note: Spoilers are coming up.)
For one, Ugly Dolls was about a group of defective plush toys that lived in Uglyville. Once they found a passage that might realize their dreams of being owned by a child, they went in despite others’ discouragement. The dolls also faced the fact that the perfect ones were often sent to the real world, but it didn’t stop them from trying.
Although the movie had a happy ending for the not-so-gorgeous dolls, I still felt a lingering sadness even when I went back home. What they experienced was no different from what many people dealt with all their lives. We had been told that we couldn’t do something because of our complexion, height, body type, etc. The more we heard the same thing, the more we believed that, thus giving us mental health issues.
But I say that that’s enough. Here are the self-affirmations you need to start telling yourself now to keep your mental health intact.
I Worked Hard For Everything I Have
Folks with low self-confidence tend to feel ashamed of splurging or buying whatever they want because their friends or family members might comment unkindly about it. And if they ended up doing that, they tried hard to hide it from others, worrying that they would become the talk of the town.
Well, letting other people dictate what you should do with your money is crazy. They are not your spouse, and you are not spending their dollars, so who are they to rule your life?
You need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will be happy for your success. It is easy for them to label everything you do negatively because that’s the only way for them to feel happiness. So, next time, be proud of what you have since you have worked hard to get it.
I Am Strong Enough To Avoid Depending On Others
Dependent individuals are those who cannot make any decisions for themselves on their own. They don’t ask for money or other favors, but their self-esteem is so low that they find it impossible to do things without others’ approval.
As previously said, that is a problem because you are effectively giving up the reins to your life by valuing other people’s opinions more than your own. You should look at yourself clearly in the mirror to see that you are not a weakling at all. You have a job, you pay your bills on time, and you don’t walk all over the folks around you. Hence, you are strong enough to stop depending on others.
I Don’t Need Anyone Who Can’t Accept Who I Am
A lot of people in awful relationships stay in it in fear of being alone forever. Some get angry when their partner beats them up, but they crawl back in the arms of the abuser, hoping that they will eventually change. Others have been cheated on so many times that they merely turn a blind eye and wait for their partner’s frolicking days to be over.
In truth, doing any of that is a recipe for self-destruction. After experiencing such things for the first time, you should have already left. Remember: if a person has tried committing abuse or infidelity, they will probably do it again later. That’s especially true if they know that you will always take them back.
Develop some self-respect – you don’t need anyone who cannot cherish and accept who you are.
It Is Okay Not To Hide My Feelings, Good Or Bad
Depression is one of the conditions that begin when you cannot let your feelings spill out in the open. As gross as it sounds, it is comparable to a zit that digs deeper underneath your skin when you push it down. You tend to only think of consulting a doctor when it’s already inflamed and affecting your relationships.
The reality is that you need not hide how you feel, regardless if it’s loveable or hateful. You don’t have to consider everyone’s feelings all the time either, even if that may be the norm. Sometimes, people need to hear awful things as a wakeup call. Doing so will also help reduce your troubles, so it’s fantastic.
Life won’t ever be full of daisies and unicorns, especially when you don’t exemplify the standard of beauty that others have set. Despite that, why should you allow that to dampen your happiness and limit the things that you want to do?
Recite the self-affirmations above every day to keep mental health issues at bay. Cheers!
Most parents are aware of how vital it is to show their children love, encouragement, and support, but they also know how important it is for their children to develop all these within themselves. It is very encouraging for kids to develop positive attitudes and beliefs because this helps them accept failure appropriately and be unbreakable against other people’s judgments and criticisms.
As our kids acquire behaviors and teach their brains, affirmations are very powerful tools that help them nurture self-belief in their childhood years, which will linger with them throughout their whole lives. All of us create our belief systems about who we are and how we see the world from our perspective. Our family, friends, significant others, the magazines that we read, and the shows that we watch can cause either damage or help us become better versions of ourselves.
Affirmations are an inspiring and enriching way of establishing a positive attitude and raising happy and respectful children – children who know how to nurture their inner selves and enjoy the wonders of their childhood. Thus, an affirmation means to assert oneself. These are positive and enlightening words that the mind cultivates to develop one’s belief systems. When these affirmations are learned and practiced, they take effect when the belief is challenged.
For instance, if your affirmation is “I am beautiful the way I am,” and somebody calls you dumb and ugly, your affirmation will come up to remind you of it. The positive result would be to think, “I am not dumb and ugly. I am beautiful.” If your child has not learned that positive belief, then he might just consider what he heard and believe that he is indeed dumb and ugly. The more these affirmations are practiced and repeated, the stronger they become.
How to Introduce Affirmations
Talking to your kids about utilizing affirmations is a very good decision for parents. This will help them understand what they’re for and how to do them properly. Try to keep the practice as interesting and uplifting as possible. Tell them that affirmations help you learn to think positively. They inspire you to believe in yourself and to control your temper when you feel sad, grumpy, or angry. Or perhaps you can say it like this: “Let’s try to practice thinking happy thoughts. If you keep doing them routinely, you’re going to remember them and use them to your advantage.”
Another means of introducing affirmations to your kids is to use affirmation cards. You can place these cards in different parts of your home, particularly in areas where they are most visible. Simply reading them will stimulate their minds to remember them. Their bathroom mirrors, the door of the fridge, or their study tables are areas where you can place these affirmation cards. Additionally, it would be a great reinforcement if you lead by example and recite positive beliefs as well. You can say these with them or recite them by yourself so that they are encouraged to it themselves. Ultimately, working on these affirmations as a family is the best first and the last step that would help all of you succeed in your journey towards personal development.
How Affirmations Can Be Effective
Self-talk. One of the essential lessons that affirmations provide is learning to be confident with talking to yourself in front of the mirror. When you talk with love, respect, and kindness to yourself, you instill more goodness in your heart and mind. A lot of people still find it difficult to look at their reflection in the mirror and compliment what they see. Positive affirmations practically help build your self-image without anybody’s help but yourself. Try saying good words about the reflection that you see in the mirror and say them out loud. When you regularly do this, it becomes more comfortable, and you begin to feel good about yourself as you slowly believe and instill the positive words that you are affirming for yourself.
Most children find this method daunting and awkward at first, and you may need to show them and then do it with them in the first few weeks for them to feel more comfortable. If they don’t want to do it, don’t force them. Affirmations should be helpful and encouraging and not something to be feared and dreaded.
Repetition. When affirmations are recited regularly, they become more ingrained into the mind, and that is when they become very effective. Experts say that saying these phrases aloud three times will boost one’s self-esteem each time. This further affirms a person’s belief. You may want to try working on it with your child once or twice a week initially, depending on how your child will feel with every affirmation. If there is a phrase that he is struggling with more, spend more time on it.
These affirmations take time and some effort, so you should discuss it with your child to get a better perspective of how he feels and his level of interest. You could make a list of your child’s positive qualities to help him kick-start his journey towards becoming the best version of himself. Positive affirmations must always be initiated in a fun, relaxed, and natural way. Use them to encourage your children to love and respect themselves the way they should be.
Sugar-coating exists because there are times that it is hard to talk about things. That is if it involves emotional and mental reasons. As we continuously experience the changes due to this pandemic, we accumulate more difficulties along the way. Sometimes, we find ourselves tired, and it feels like we are about to give up. With all the instant adjustments we have to deal with and struggles we need to handle, everything is too much. But not all hope is gone. If we somehow think our life is falling apart, here are some of the few things we need to remember.
Remember That The Struggle Is Temporary
What is happening right at this moment might not be beneficial, but soon it will all end. It might not happen right in this second, but everything we are going through will pass. Yes, the process may take quite a while, and the adjustment and sacrifices must be made. But soon, it will be worth it. We may not always recover from this traumatic event, but all of us will find a way to go on with life regardless of the severity of the pandemic’s impact. Our pain and suffering ask for patience. Therefore, we must understand that grieving and recovering from this event is not a linear process.
Allow Things To Just Happen
For us to live an active and meaningful life, we need to focus on things around us. Admittedly, we want to take control of our lives before we can say that we live on the fullest. However, in this time of crisis, we need to acknowledge that there are limited things that we have control over. So instead of forcing ourselves to analyze the things we think we can prevent, it is much better if we allow it to happen. That way, we can assess our capability in handling situations, and what degree of control is healthy for us. We need to understand that no matter how cautious we are, things can still happen unexpectedly.
Believe That We Can Turn Things Around
We can’t get to choose what life should bring to us. Same as we can’t decide whether this situation should come to an end. However, the thing we can do is manage our lives so that it can take us to where we want to be. Instead of complaining about the things we can’t control, we need to use our ability to adapt. If we find ourselves in a dead-end, we must realize that things won’t change unless we make an effort to change it. Yes, it may take a few tries before we can finally get accustomed to what’s going on. But understanding that fear is useless is essential. We need to focus on things that can fall into places instead of overthinking about the things that may fall further apart.
Note That We Are Not Alone
Most times, this pandemic is causing us a lot of emotional and mental stress. That is because we somehow think that we are alone in this battle. We believe that our problems are unbearable. We focus so much on our pain because we chose to attach all the negativity we experience in this situation. Plainly, life is unfair, and the level of struggle at this moment is different from one another. But if we take a look around, we will come to realize that we have each other. Each one of us has someone out there that genuinely cares for us no matter what. Someone else just like us is trying their best to make it through the day without collapsing.
With all the piled up uncertainties caused by the Coronavirus outbreak, perhaps you are now on the verge of breaking down. You feel lost and confused about what could happen to the world in the next few months. You have questions like, “when will this whole thing be over?”, “what will be left for humanity after this health crisis?” or “will people survive if this situation gets worse?” Well, to be honest, no one can tell. Even experts are unsure about the whole process of surviving.
Though you may think negatively about the situation, this pandemic crisis is an eye-opener to everyone. It is where you witness the good and bad sides of humanity where people can be selfish or giving. It is the moment that makes you realize how valuable life is that a single mistake can ruin it in an instant. So with all the negativity you see and hear every day, how can you find inner peace? Is there a way you can motivate yourself to continue living through all these unfortunate circumstances?
Think About Your Loved Ones
Perhaps you can say that it is okay to feel sorry for yourself because everyone is feeling the same. You might also think that it is somehow useless to stay positive during this global crisis because people already accepted their doom. But think about your loved ones. Are they not enough reason for you to fight and continue living despite the unfortunate situation? Do the people around you deserve a broken heart only because you believe there is no hope? Will you be brave enough to admit that your way of thinking is making them more terrified and anxious even more? Think about it. The whole situation may be scary, but being with the people you value the most is the important thing right now. Use your loved ones as an inspiration to regain your emotional and mental strength.
Think About Your Desire To Live
Though not all people are taking the situation seriously, some of them are dying to end this. There are those individuals who cannot support and feed themselves. That despite their miserable condition, quitting never crossed their minds. That is because they motivate themselves to fight the hardships this pandemic is causing them. They use their desire to see a better future to handle even the worst cases of this global health crisis. There are also those individuals who already lost their family and friends but are more than willing to stay strong. So why not think like them? Think about your desire to live, not only for your family or special someone but for yourself. Think about your purpose in life.
Think About The Experience
If God allows this crisis to be over, you will thank yourself for staying strong despite unfavorable circumstances. You will soon get back to your normal life where you study or work, and spend time with friends and family. The experience you will get from this pandemic situation will become your best asset in looking at things from a different perspective. You will begin to realize that life is more important than anything else in the world. The whole situation will allow you to learn skills that are useful in surviving a more critical condition compared to this current one. The experience you have right now will become your foundation for a more stable physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual strength.
If you give up now, you will lose everything when this whole pandemic crisis is over. So think about the opportunity life is giving you to fight and become a better version of yourself. If you need more advice on positivity, check out BetterHelp. They posts articles on their Facebook page and some quotes on their Instagram.
“[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.
We know that couple’s counseling is a process that helps us in assessing our marital differences. As much as married couples are concerned, they allow a third party or professional help to assist them because they wanted to understand how to find resolutions on their failing marriage. Is counseling a great way to determine solutions in patching things between married couples – or does it?
What Does Counseling Therapy Do?
“We often think of marital therapy as a last resort. We assume that only couples with “serious” issues should seek it. We assume that only couples in dire straits can benefit. But all couples can enhance their relationship by learning the skills taught in couples therapy,” according to Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Counseling was built on the idea of saving a marriage. However, it seems that our society is using marriage counseling as another way to quickly get out of marital commitment. Instead of ironing out the couple’s differences, it seems to become a place where they tend to open up about their several issues and lobby for divorce. In fact, the procedure is quite the same. Both husband and wife are open to the holistic idea that their happiness is attainable with the help of a counselor, but pretty much end up calling it quits.
Though not all holistic counseling therapy is terrible for a relationship, it is still becoming unconventional. Depending on the type of issues and the level of marital concern, couples who decide to ask for help somehow intentionally want to justify their reasons for letting go. In some cases, it is not helpful especially for those married couples who consider the therapy as their last resort.
The Complications Of Getting A Marriage Counseling
There is a problem with conventional counseling because there will always be a side that is leaning towards divorce. One of the couples may insist on trying to fix the marriage, but one of them is looking for valid ways to end it. From there, each session becomes stressful and frustrating to both of the couples as well as the therapist. In some cases, the pair will take counseling but will not consider amendments at all. In the end, it will become a valid argument that both of the married couples need a divorce claiming that marriage therapy didn’t work. With that circumstance, the unwillingness to resolve marital issue becomes a substantial ground for separation.
The Process Affects All
Sometimes the couples give the therapist a breaking point where they’ll see the process as unworthy of their time. The therapist will be put to pressure to conclude that the failing marriage should end because he or she will no longer be able to seek for reasons to hold the two together. It will somehow lessen the value of the therapy session because couples don’t show the effort of cooperating.
Marriage counseling is still an excellent choice for solving marital issues, but that’s if (and if) both parties are willing to address their differences. According to marriage counselor Gary Chapman, each of us “speaks a different “love language,” of which there are five: words of affirmation; acts of service; receiving gifts; quality time; and physical touch.”Therapies don’t support breakups and separations for they value relationships as well as the couples’ psychological, emotional, and behavioral aspects. But like most experts and professionals would say, divorce should have to be an option and not a goal. However, if their overall health is at stake, then they need to get out from the toxic marriage, find their happiness and get healthy and holistic well-being.