Is Your Life Falling Apart Because Of The Pandemic?

Sugar-coating exists because there are times that it is hard to talk about things. That is if it involves emotional and mental reasons. As we continuously experience the changes due to this pandemic, we accumulate more difficulties along the way. Sometimes, we find ourselves tired, and it feels like we are about to give up. With all the instant adjustments we have to deal with and struggles we need to handle, everything is too much. But not all hope is gone. If we somehow think our life is falling apart, here are some of the few things we need to remember.

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Remember That The Struggle Is Temporary

What is happening right at this moment might not be beneficial, but soon it will all end. It might not happen right in this second, but everything we are going through will pass. Yes, the process may take quite a while, and the adjustment and sacrifices must be made. But soon, it will be worth it. We may not always recover from this traumatic event, but all of us will find a way to go on with life regardless of the severity of the pandemic’s impact. Our pain and suffering ask for patience. Therefore, we must understand that grieving and recovering from this event is not a linear process.

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Allow Things To Just Happen

For us to live an active and meaningful life, we need to focus on things around us. Admittedly, we want to take control of our lives before we can say that we live on the fullest. However, in this time of crisis, we need to acknowledge that there are limited things that we have control over.  So instead of forcing ourselves to analyze the things we think we can prevent, it is much better if we allow it to happen. That way, we can assess our capability in handling situations, and what degree of control is healthy for us. We need to understand that no matter how cautious we are, things can still happen unexpectedly.

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Believe That We Can Turn Things Around

We can’t get to choose what life should bring to us. Same as we can’t decide whether this situation should come to an end. However, the thing we can do is manage our lives so that it can take us to where we want to be. Instead of complaining about the things we can’t control, we need to use our ability to adapt. If we find ourselves in a dead-end, we must realize that things won’t change unless we make an effort to change it. Yes, it may take a few tries before we can finally get accustomed to what’s going on. But understanding that fear is useless is essential. We need to focus on things that can fall into places instead of overthinking about the things that may fall further apart.

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Note That We Are Not Alone

Most times, this pandemic is causing us a lot of emotional and mental stress. That is because we somehow think that we are alone in this battle. We believe that our problems are unbearable. We focus so much on our pain because we chose to attach all the negativity we experience in this situation. Plainly, life is unfair, and the level of struggle at this moment is different from one another. But if we take a look around, we will come to realize that we have each other. Each one of us has someone out there that genuinely cares for us no matter what. Someone else just like us is trying their best to make it through the day without collapsing.

A Motivational Reflection During A Pandemic Crisis

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With all the piled up uncertainties caused by the Coronavirus outbreak, perhaps you are now on the verge of breaking down. You feel lost and confused about what could happen to the world in the next few months. You have questions like, “when will this whole thing be over?”, “what will be left for humanity after this health crisis?” or “will people survive if this situation gets worse?” Well, to be honest, no one can tell. Even experts are unsure about the whole process of surviving.

Though you may think negatively about the situation, this pandemic crisis is an eye-opener to everyone. It is where you witness the good and bad sides of humanity where people can be selfish or giving. It is the moment that makes you realize how valuable life is that a single mistake can ruin it in an instant. So with all the negativity you see and hear every day, how can you find inner peace? Is there a way you can motivate yourself to continue living through all these unfortunate circumstances?

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Think About Your Loved Ones

Perhaps you can say that it is okay to feel sorry for yourself because everyone is feeling the same. You might also think that it is somehow useless to stay positive during this global crisis because people already accepted their doom. But think about your loved ones. Are they not enough reason for you to fight and continue living despite the unfortunate situation? Do the people around you deserve a broken heart only because you believe there is no hope? Will you be brave enough to admit that your way of thinking is making them more terrified and anxious even more? Think about it. The whole situation may be scary, but being with the people you value the most is the important thing right now. Use your loved ones as an inspiration to regain your emotional and mental strength.

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Think About Your Desire To Live

Though not all people are taking the situation seriously, some of them are dying to end this. There are those individuals who cannot support and feed themselves. That despite their miserable condition, quitting never crossed their minds. That is because they motivate themselves to fight the hardships this pandemic is causing them. They use their desire to see a better future to handle even the worst cases of this global health crisis. There are also those individuals who already lost their family and friends but are more than willing to stay strong. So why not think like them? Think about your desire to live, not only for your family or special someone but for yourself. Think about your purpose in life.

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Think About The Experience

If God allows this crisis to be over, you will thank yourself for staying strong despite unfavorable circumstances. You will soon get back to your normal life where you study or work, and spend time with friends and family. The experience you will get from this pandemic situation will become your best asset in looking at things from a different perspective. You will begin to realize that life is more important than anything else in the world. The whole situation will allow you to learn skills that are useful in surviving a more critical condition compared to this current one. The experience you have right now will become your foundation for a more stable physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual strength.

If you give up now, you will lose everything when this whole pandemic crisis is over. So think about the opportunity life is giving you to fight and become a better version of yourself.

Why You Shouldn’t Do Overtime Work Often

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I could genuinely relate to the primary topic at the 2017 Health Symposium: what excessive overtime work does to you. Similar to millions of workers out there, I once thought that I was invincible, that I could cover 1.5 shifts for almost every day of the week. However, my body proved me wrong when my colleagues found me in the hallway, unconscious. The doctor diagnosed me with fatigue and made me get an entire month of rest.

My health returned to normal soon enough, but I did not try working too much for too long again. Besides a weak immune system, I realized the following:

It Stresses You Out
Doing overtime work is very noble but also extremely stressful. Imagine, after eight or nine hours of working full-time, you need to extend it for two to three hours more. It may seem doable in the beginning, but after some time, it is as if you can no longer keep up with the activities that you have decided on for yourself.

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It Leaves You Too Tired For Your Family
When you always work for more hours than the boss expects from you, all you get to do at home is sleep. There may not even be time to eat because the exhaustion makes you pass out in bed. Because of that, it may be impossible for you to have a healthy conversation with your spouse, parents, or kids.

It Turns You Into An Angry Monster
The worst consequence of working overtime too much is that you turn into a snappy creature slowly but surely. Gone will be your patient self; it’s replaced by an angry monster who yells at anyone who doesn’t get your orders the first time.

Do you see these characteristics in yourself or your loved one? If you do, then you should probably start apologizing to the people around you. After that, you need to find a way to avoid overtime work. That’s the only way for you to have a peaceful life.

Is Counseling Therapy Saving A Marriage Or Trying To End It?

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“[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

We know that couple’s counseling is a process that helps us in assessing our marital differences. As much as married couples are concerned, they allow a third party or professional help to assist them because they wanted to understand how to find resolutions on their failing marriage. Is counseling a great way to determine solutions in patching things between married couples – or does it?

 

What Does Counseling Therapy Do?

“We often think of marital therapy as a last resort. We assume that only couples with “serious” issues should seek it. We assume that only couples in dire straits can benefit. But all couples can enhance their relationship by learning the skills taught in couples therapy,” according to Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

Counseling was built on the idea of saving a marriage. However, it seems that our society is using marriage counseling as another way to quickly get out of marital commitment. Instead of ironing out the couple’s differences, it seems to become a place where they tend to open up about their several issues and lobby for divorce. In fact, the procedure is quite the same. Both husband and wife are open to the holistic idea that their happiness is attainable with the help of a counselor, but pretty much end up calling it quits.

Though not all holistic counseling therapy is terrible for a relationship, it is still becoming unconventional. Depending on the type of issues and the level of marital concern, couples who decide to ask for help somehow intentionally want to justify their reasons for letting go. In some cases, it is not helpful especially for those married couples who consider the therapy as their last resort.

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 The Complications Of Getting A Marriage Counseling

There is a problem with conventional counseling because there will always be a side that is leaning towards divorce. One of the couples may insist on trying to fix the marriage, but one of them is looking for valid ways to end it. From there, each session becomes stressful and frustrating to both of the couples as well as the therapist. In some cases, the pair will take counseling but will not consider amendments at all. In the end, it will become a valid argument that both of the married couples need a divorce claiming that marriage therapy didn’t work. With that circumstance, the unwillingness to resolve marital issue becomes a substantial ground for separation.

 

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The Process Affects All

Sometimes the couples give the therapist a breaking point where they’ll see the process as unworthy of their time. The therapist will be put to pressure to conclude that the failing marriage should end because he or she will no longer be able to seek for reasons to hold the two together. It will somehow lessen the value of the therapy session because couples don’t show the effort of cooperating.

Marriage counseling is still an excellent choice for solving marital issues, but that’s if (and if) both parties are willing to address their differences. According to marriage counselor Gary Chapman, each of us “speaks a different “love language,” of which there are five: words of affirmation; acts of service; receiving gifts; quality time; and physical touch.” Therapies don’t support breakups and separations for they value relationships as well as the couples’ psychological, emotional, and behavioral aspects. But like most experts and professionals would say, divorce should have to be an option and not a goal. However, if their overall health is at stake, then they need to get out from the toxic marriage, find their happiness and get healthy and holistic well-being.

 

 

Holistic View: Things You Should Not Overdo When You’re In A Relationship

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“As individuals, we benefit greatly from learning skills to manage our emotions, cope with our inner critics and become assertive. The same is true for couples: Our romantic relationships also benefit greatly when we take the time to learn and practice the skills that cultivate connection,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. But we shouldn’t overdo this connection.

There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your relationship, mainly if you wanted to stay away from a toxic situation. It is crucial to exert an effort for your spouse or significant other as long as you know that you are happy and don’t feel pressure at all. But sometimes, you have to keep it as low key as possible because overdoing things in a relationship might cause an imbalance.

Consistent Checking – It’s normal to know your partner’s activities and interest, but continuously asking him about the same thing over and over again can start a complication. It’s not healthy in a relationship because when he gets annoyed, he might consider lying about the things that you frequently ask him such as the people he tries to connect with and priorities that he needs to do. You can let him be once in a while, so he won’t feel that he’s been choked to stay in a relationship where trust is becoming an issue.

Remember that, “You are not your relationship. Just because your relationship is in trouble, it does not mean you are a failure. Your relationship is an entity that involves you, but it is not you, and it does not determine your worth,” says Harriet Pappenheim, LCSW.

Keeping Him On Radar – keeping him on your radar will do no good. He might feel pressured that you keep on asking for his whereabouts. Though it is understandable that you have the right to know the details on his every location, it will still not strengthen the bond of your relationship because you are blocking him to do the things that he likes to do. He will feel that his freedom is on the line and eventually end up losing interest in the relationship.

Apologizing Too Much – Yes, it’s important to mend things between the two of you especially when something needs fixing. However, overdoing an apology is not going to work when you keep on making the same mistakes over again. You should consider working on the proper adjustments and not just apologize for the act. You have to make a stand at least and do necessary actions concerning your behavior.

Clinging All The Time – There’s no problem in showing affection when you are in a relationship. However, there’s always a limitation in doing an act. Clinging is a way of telling your spouse or partner that you are genuinely and emotionally attached to them, but frequently clinging unto him is irritating. He might lose interest in spending time with you because it will not serve its purpose anymore. His priorities can get affected because he’ll feel obliged to be around you all the time instead of working on things that require much of his time.

 

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Creating A Drama – It’s probably one of the things that your significant other would want to avoid.  No one likes to deal with tons of dramas in a relationship. As much as possible, things should have their level of importance to both of you so you can work out your own set of priorities. Too much crying, complaining, and demanding will eventually lead to a toxic and hurtful relationship.

“Perhaps blowups between you and your partner are occurring more regularly. Or ongoing sticky issues and irritations are causing increased tension and resentment. If you have had little success working through relationship issues, find yourselves avoiding each other, or using hostile words or actions that cause emotional or physical hurt, professional counseling may help,” a reminder from Jane Framingham, Ph.D.

When you think about the important things that truly matter in your relationship, you can easily avoid these damaging habits. Try to focus on the holistic approach, and you’ll love how you mental, physical, and emotional balance are developing.

Healing Yourself After A Breakup

 

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Once in our life, we tend to experience an emotional course of breakup in one of our relationships. Men and women handle pain in different ways. According to Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D., a licensed counselor, “Break-ups can definitely qualify as traumatic events and telling and re-telling the break-up story is a relatively normal reaction if it was traumatic for you.” However, both still end up undergoing vital processes of recovery such as crying, alcohol drinking, watching relatable movies, isolating, and the list goes on. They think those things will help them attain a better emotional situation, but does it?

 

The Effects Of Breakup

 

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Though it is possible to love someone more than they love you, there will always be the aftermath. An abandonment rage can happen due to an excessive amount of grief, loss of control, and fear of being left alone. It’s a strong feeling that pulls you into devastation that will eventually make you lose your senses and become vulnerable to several mental and psychological imbalances. In most cases, your overall performance gets affected as well as your behavior. It’s pretty much common that you feel depressed after heartbreak, but it shouldn’t have to be the center of your life. “While upsetting, these feelings usually start to lessen with time as you recover from the breakup,” said psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, Kendra Cherry, MS.

 

The Use Of Holistic Approach

A holistic approach to the process of healing from a breakup will depend on your ability to react to reality. The thing that can somehow control the pain is your positivity to see the different sides of the scenario. Your holistic recovery will come from your response to what’s going on around you. Your ability to strengthen your weaknesses can eventually make you grow, especially when your heartache is at its peak. You need to understand that the only way to help you is by letting yourself grow. You need to learn to empower yourself and transform the negative experiences into something beneficial for your well-being.

 

The Benefits Of Positivity From Negativity

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Your attitude towards all the negative things that happen in your life will become the basis of your emotional struggle. So to be able to avoid those instances, you need to focus on the positive things that can help you attain a better perspective. “Learn how to express concerns constructively,” said Susan Heitler Ph.D. clinical psychologist. You can cry, lock yourself in your room, binge drink, or isolate yourself from people, but it won’t change the fact that your emotional state is at risk. When you try to acknowledge the fact that you are not that strong enough to handle the pain, you’ll eventually start to appreciate even the smallest thing that supports your effort. You’ll soon realize that you gradually feel the need for assistance, which is good in some ways because you’ll be able to identify the kind of emotional help you need. From there, you’ll have a better chance of fixing yourself. Accepting that you are weak will make you understand that there’s something within you that transforms you to become a better version of yourself.

A relationship involves a lot of things that you may or may not understand at some point. There are tons of complications that you know you can expect from committing. However, it shouldn’t have to become a reason for you to stop loving. All you have to do is always look at things on the brighter side.

At The Height Of Stress From A Divorce (A Relationship Battle To Maturity And Growth)

 

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Suffering from severe stress due to the process of undergoing a divorce can increase the risk of having health problems. The significant changes in your life are sometimes unmanageable that you might end up experiencing mental, physical, and emotional health issues.

The process of divorce can make you feel alone, lonely, depressed, desperate, and hopeless. All the negative things come to you and sometimes stick for a very long period. In trying to understand what you need to do to overcome and fight the stress from your failed marriage, you have to determine the factors that affect your overall dysfunction. It’s an excellent opportunity to envision a resolution and get a holistic counseling approach that can support your developmental growth. As what marriage therapist Chana Levitan writes, “Accept and allow.”

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Denial

Denial can take place when you disregard your marital issues. It’s like trying to convince yourself that you are not affected throughout the process, but in reality, it weakens you. In most cases, you try to tell yourself that things will change and eventually will get better. But the sad part is, the effect of divorce can bring too many complications on the emotional status. You’ll end up having a long-term struggle in dealing with grief from a failed relationship. You need to understand that the only thing that can save you from the devastation is to wholeheartedly accept that your marriage is over and you have to move on and start a new life without your ex-partner.

Anger

In dealing with the process of divorce, your personality changes as well. You develop intense anger that would sometimes hurt yourself. You will eventually do things that are out of your character and sometimes end up in dangerous instances that you know you’re not supposed to get into. “You get angry when you want an apology, when you want someone to change their behavior, etc.,” said psychologist Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. Your anger is the culprit in blocking your happiness. So before you genuinely make a clear view of what you want in life after the sad experience of divorce, you need to forgive yourself and learn to lower down the aggravation. If you intentionally use anger as a coping mechanism to fight over the stress of your failed relationship, the only thing you can get is pain and suffering.

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Bargaining

There’ll be a time that you will consider bargaining to be able to save your marriage. Even if it costs you your happiness, you’ll probably think that it won’t matter as long as you try to keep your marital state for the sake of your long-term commitment. The truth is, the act of bargaining for your happiness will not help you at all. It will only lock you in a situation that you can no longer get out from. Keeping the idea of marriage through bargaining is not a winning situation but a prison of miseries and heartaches. You need to stand up for better decisions that will give you the ultimate goal of freeing yourself from the harsh truth of a failed relationship.

A divorce is a process that attracts negativity. Sometimes you’ll end up not knowing yourself anymore. But when you think about it from a different perspective, perhaps it’s useful in helping you see things in a bigger picture. According to clinical psychologist, Susan Heitler Ph.D., “Better to end a marriage than to continue a marriage with these hurtful habits.” The sad moment in your life will give you a chance to develop your sense of purpose and maturity so that you’ll be able to understand that you need to grow and make valuable decisions that can change your life forever.

 

Signs That A Divorce Is A Must

There’s no ignoring the fact that some marriages need to end due to severe complications and arguments. It may sound devastating, and the process may take a while, but there’s always a basis why you should consider it an option. As what Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. said, “If you have reached the point at which you truly believe that there is little hope that a fractured friendship or ruptured romance can be repaired, it is important to maintain your resolve and terminate the relationship for good.When your marriage is no longer contributing to your overall development, then that’s the time that you have to set your priorities straight. So how can you figure out when your marriage needs to end? Here are some of the few signs.

 

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You Don’t Need Him – There’s a big difference when you want to be alone compared to the “you don’t need him” moments. If you fancy being on your

own rather than spending time with your spouse, then you should first determine the reason why you suddenly lose that interest in your significant other. It will either mean that you no longer require their company and you need to change your priorities that will no longer make him a part of it.

His Touch Becomes Uncomfortable – When you are in a relationship, there’s no greater feeling than to have your partner caresses you. However, when those moments make you feel uncomfortable, it probably means that you no longer have that physical connection you once had. There’s no romance anymore, and you become less passionate about having sex. In other words, the issues of your marital problems are proven to be successful in tripping you apart.

 

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Hard Time Staying Faithful – When you and your partner start to think about not working your issues, we can assume that there’s a chance that one of you is committing infidelity. Though not all marital problems result in cheating, there is still a considerable probability that either you or your partner is having an affair. Emotional affairs can even be more damaging than sexual ones,” said Christine Hammond, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Therefore, it is most likely fair to state that unfaithfulness is a sign that one of you is no longer interested in reassuring your marriage.

Your Future Is Fading – When your relationship means a lot to you, you always secure a future with your partner. However, when you finally decide that your reality has something to do with one-sided benefits, then the marriage has begun to fail from there. Disregarding your spouse and focusing on your personal growth is not a sign of a healthy marriage. So before you end up having tons of complaints and hurting each other, better consider filing for divorce.

You Don’t Care Anymore – it is probably the most common sign that might tell you that you need a divorce. The things that upset you before don’t bother you anymore, and that’s because you are already emotionally detached from your spouse. You don’t get jealous, don’t feel pressured, not interested in what he does, don’t get hurt – just nothing at all.

 

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Counseling Doesn’t Work – When you try to fix things between you and your spouse through counseling and find it hard to assess the issues even if there’s quite some help already, then it is time that you have to consider calling it quits. It is the stage where it determines that you probably showed immense effort in trying to solve the marital issues you have but unfortunately failed in the process. You might want to enumerate possible reasons why you can never stay as married couples to any further extent.

You probably experienced almost all of these signs. However, before you make any conclusions, ask yourself first if you should get a divorce because you don’t like to regret things by making a decision that will soon affect your future. Because as what Michelle Farris, a licensed marriage and family therapist said, “Divorce is one of the most stressful events anyone can ever experience.

 

Holistic Healthcare Approach And Its Contribution To Psychiatry

The holistic approach to health views physical health in conjunction with your emotional, psychological, and mental state. It plays a role in your mindset, beliefs, feelings, and behavior. Everything in your wellbeing is connected and affects one another. It also creates a connection with your entire lifestyle as well as your character as a person.  Valerie Knopik, PhD – Director of Research for Yoga Medicine says, “When we practice mind-body techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and focused intention tasks, we influence brain activity in regions that are involved in reducing psychological stress and increasing the parasympathetic response.  This can, over time and with practice, ease anxiety and increase mood.”

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The Art Of Energy Therapy

Your body consists of electromagnetic fields or mostly known as ‘aura.’ Everything in the world has a unique aura. There will be a time that you will tend to pick up the damaging energy from other people and the environment, and that can somehow affect your feelings, behavior, and perception. You may tend to lose your central energy, making it impossible for you to work on a task functionally.  

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