We all know that therapy is one of the most effective ways of dealing with negative emotions or feelings. As Frank S. Pittman III, M.D., a psychiatrist in private practice in Atlanta, puts it: “Most psychotherapy is really about values. It’s about the value dilemmas of ordinary people trying to lead a life amidst great personal, familial, and cultural confusion.”
In the United States, many people rely on the assistance of professional therapists to help them get by every single day. It is the primary reason why experts recommend troubled individuals to find the right therapist in the city. It is a good thing always to have someone to meet up with whenever you are going through a difficult phase or situation in your life.
When I was only starting my first job as a marketing assistant, I feared losing my job before I was ready. After all, I had a lot of bills to pay at the time. I was renting my apartment, paying my car mortgage, and trying to live in an expensive city through my minimum wage. I had not even included my student loans in the equation, but I would most likely have to couch-surf or live in my car if I did.
Because of that, I tried hard to be likable in the company and learn everything as fast as possible so that my bosses would not think of replacing me immediately. It entailed spending my office breaks in my desk, typing away, or watching tutorials on doing this or that. If anyone invited me for a group lunch or dinner, I would say yes, even if the gathering would bring me down to my last dollar.
I would say it worked. My sacrifices and determination worked. After all, there was a vacancy for a senior marketing role a year later, and I took a shot and applied for it. Others might have been discouraged to do that, especially if they were still rookies in the field like me, but since I got close with my bosses and earned their respect, I got the job. It allowed me to have an office of my own and a higher salary.
I managed to stay in the same company for a decade. I took on various vital roles until I decided to stick with a marketing executive post. I could have gone for the chief marketing officer position if I wanted to, but I was pretty happy and contented with my current role. As I mentioned above, my only goal was to avoid getting sacked, and I believe that would be almost impossible since I was no longer at the base of the hierarchy.
When Things Changed
When the pandemic happened, my company decided to make us all do our jobs in the safety of our homes. I missed going to the office every day and chatting up my coworkers between breaks, but I supported remote work 100%. Ever since I worked from home, I got to revive my plants, catch up with the movies and TV shows that I did not get to watch before, and even learn how to do yoga.
Despite all that, I was among the millions of people who assumed that the pandemic would disappear after a few months. Once the lockdown was almost over, I even ordered some new clothes online to prepare myself for when the bosses would call us back to the office. Hence, you could imagine how surprised I was when I received an email from the HR department informing me that they were laying off 200 people – and that number included me.
On the same night, I received countless texts and missed calls from my coworkers who received the same email. Some of them said they expected it to happen, but many were devastated because they could not survive without a job. The company would provide a separation pay for all, but there were so many of us, so it might take weeks – if not months – before we could collect the money.
How I Took The News
My mother learned about it through her favorite morning news show the next day, and she called me immediately. When I informed her that I was one of those people who got laid off, she felt sad. She was well-aware of my initial desperation to keep my job when I was still starting and perhaps assume that that’s still the case ten years later.
“Honey, if you need anything – food, gas money, or rent money – just let me know, okay?” my mom said.
“Oh, no, mom, you can keep your money,” I replied with a short laugh. “I have enough savings and do not need to work for at least two years. I already paid off my car earlier this year, and I gave my landlord 12 months’ worth of rent, so I’ll be fine.”
My other friends called after my mother, and we had the same conversation. They were all sympathetic, but they also sounded surprised when I insisted that I was okay. Of course, I could not blame them because it was the worst time for most people not to have a job, but I was already financially secure, so I was not worried about it.
When the office counselor called to help me cope with the loss of my job, she was so fascinated by my way of thinking that she encouraged me to share it with the world. In reality, I did not feel any different. I worked hard in the last ten years and saved a significant portion of my salary every month to have enough money to spend in cases like this. I did not expect it to happen during my early 30s, but fate dealt me with this card, and I won’t let it bother me.
When the governor announced the lockdown for the first time last year, my roommate and I decided to move back to our parents’ homes and isolate from them. We worked in the same company as web developers, so our bosses were okay with us working remotely. So we let go of the apartment and bid our goodbyes to each other.
Living With My Parents Again
My parents lived on a farm in Nebraska, where they took care of cattle and sheep. Mom and dad were thrilled when they found out that I was moving back home because they always complained that I might have been loving the city air too much that I could not stay with them longer than a couple of days every visit. There was no work-from-home option in the past in my defense, so I always needed to cut my trip short.
I would say that being a farm girl was extremely enjoyable, specifically because my parents’ neighbors were a mile away. This meant that we could go outside the house without wearing a mask or worrying about contracting the coronavirus. They also had crops in the land and a barn full of food supply, so we practically never had to leave the place to buy anything. We would watch the news before dinner every night and hear those people complaining about being unable to breathe because of their masks, and we could not relate because we never had to do that on the farm.
Despite that, when the news about COVID-19 vaccines being formulated broke out, my parents and I were all for it. We were safe from a viral infection, but we could not stay there forever. After all, once the vaccination process started, it might not take long before the company would call me back to the office since the global health threat would be controlled by then. As for my parents, even if they had everything they might need on the farm and more, they would have to go out and sell livestock elsewhere to keep generating money. If none of us took the vaccine, we would have a much higher chance of getting infected.
Learning About Others’ Opinions
Once my parents and I got our first dose of the Pfizer vaccine, I thought of calling my roommate. We were friends, but since I got too busy with farm life, I did not talk to her as much as I promised to do before we parted ways. She picked up my call at once, and we chatted about all of her escapades ever since going back home.
Unlike my family, my roommate lived in Miami, Florida. Not only did it have the best weather, but it also served as home for a lot of party animals. She disclosed that she had been to at least five home parties just this month.
“Oh, that’s what I miss!” I exclaimed. “Once I get my second dose of vaccine, I would fly to Miami, and you can take me to all the parties you get invited to.”
“Oh,” my roommate said. “My parents don’t want to get vaccinated because of all the news about some people dying immediately after getting the vaccine. Even if I do not believe that it happens to everyone, they’re forbidding me to get the vaccine as well.”
All I could reply in that instant was, “Everyone can hold on to their opinions.” I was aware of some people’s opposition to vaccines. I also believe that the human body can react negatively to it, and that can cause people to die. However, the chance of that happening was one in a million, and I did not expect to personally know anyone who firmly believed they had an extremely high chance of dying due to the vaccine.
My mother, who was a retired counselor, walked in on me looking baffled.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked.
“Well, I had a mind-boggling conversation with my former roommate. Her parents refused to sign up for COVID-19 vaccination,” I said.
“They worry about dying because of the vaccine. They did not think of the higher possibility of them contracting the virus and dying because of it. Should I call my friend again and tell her that?” I asked.
My mother smiled. “Of course, you can do that. But you should also know that you can’t force others to follow your lead. But if I were them, it’s better to think of it in a positive light. Instead of thinking of becoming one in a million, they should believe that they will be among the 999,999 people who will survive the vaccination.”
That was thoughtful advice that I shared with my friend. She discussed it at length with her parents, and I got a text two days later that they were on their way to the nearest vaccination center. The process went even better than they expected, considering neither my friend nor her parents got a fever or any side effect post-vaccination.
If you still doubt whether you should get vaccinated or not, think of what my mom said.
I watched the movie Ugly Dolls a little while back. Yes, I know it is for kids. No, I have no children of my own or nephews and nieces who begged me to watch it with them. But I felt intrigued after seeing the characters on the poster, so I went to the cinema just for it.
When the movie was already playing, I thought, “I would have missed out on such an incredible work of art if I didn’t do this.” Beyond the beautiful animation and songs was a storyline that more adults than children could relate to.
(Note: Spoilers are coming up.)
For one, Ugly Dolls was about a group of defective plush toys that lived in Uglyville. Once they found a passage that might realize their dreams of being owned by a child, they went in despite others’ discouragement. The dolls also faced the fact that the perfect ones were often sent to the real world, but it didn’t stop them from trying.
Although the movie had a happy ending for the not-so-gorgeous dolls, I still felt a lingering sadness even when I went back home. What they experienced was no different from what many people dealt with all their lives. We had been told that we couldn’t do something because of our complexion, height, body type, etc. The more we heard the same thing, the more we believed that, thus giving us mental health issues.
But I say that that’s enough. Here are the self-affirmations you need to start telling yourself now to keep your mental health intact.
I Worked Hard For Everything I Have
Folks with low self-confidence tend to feel ashamed of splurging or buying whatever they want because their friends or family members might comment unkindly about it. And if they ended up doing that, they tried hard to hide it from others, worrying that they would become the talk of the town.
Well, letting other people dictate what you should do with your money is crazy. They are not your spouse, and you are not spending their dollars, so who are they to rule your life?
You need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will be happy for your success. It is easy for them to label everything you do negatively because that’s the only way for them to feel happiness. So, next time, be proud of what you have since you have worked hard to get it.
I Am Strong Enough To Avoid Depending On Others
Dependent individuals are those who cannot make any decisions for themselves on their own. They don’t ask for money or other favors, but their self-esteem is so low that they find it impossible to do things without others’ approval.
As previously said, that is a problem because you are effectively giving up the reins to your life by valuing other people’s opinions more than your own. You should look at yourself clearly in the mirror to see that you are not a weakling at all. You have a job, you pay your bills on time, and you don’t walk all over the folks around you. Hence, you are strong enough to stop depending on others.
I Don’t Need Anyone Who Can’t Accept Who I Am
A lot of people in awful relationships stay in it in fear of being alone forever. Some get angry when their partner beats them up, but they crawl back in the arms of the abuser, hoping that they will eventually change. Others have been cheated on so many times that they merely turn a blind eye and wait for their partner’s frolicking days to be over.
In truth, doing any of that is a recipe for self-destruction. After experiencing such things for the first time, you should have already left. Remember: if a person has tried committing abuse or infidelity, they will probably do it again later. That’s especially true if they know that you will always take them back.
Develop some self-respect – you don’t need anyone who cannot cherish and accept who you are.
It Is Okay Not To Hide My Feelings, Good Or Bad
Depression is one of the conditions that begin when you cannot let your feelings spill out in the open. As gross as it sounds, it is comparable to a zit that digs deeper underneath your skin when you push it down. You tend to only think of consulting a doctor when it’s already inflamed and affecting your relationships.
The reality is that you need not hide how you feel, regardless if it’s loveable or hateful. You don’t have to consider everyone’s feelings all the time either, even if that may be the norm. Sometimes, people need to hear awful things as a wakeup call. Doing so will also help reduce your troubles, so it’s fantastic.
Life won’t ever be full of daisies and unicorns, especially when you don’t exemplify the standard of beauty that others have set. Despite that, why should you allow that to dampen your happiness and limit the things that you want to do?
Recite the self-affirmations above every day to keep mental health issues at bay. Cheers!
Your body consists of electromagnetic fields or mostly known as ‘aura.’ Everything in the world has a unique aura. There will be a time that you will tend to pick up the damaging energy from other people and the environment, and that can somehow affect your feelings, behavior, and perception. You may tend to lose your central energy, making it impossible for you to work on a task functionally.
Having a holistic lifestyle can give you a lot of benefits. It can produce fulfillment, freedom, joy, simplicity, and happiness. The foundation in choosing an effective method will depend on the kind of choices you make for your life. Eventually, you have to make several inner and outer changes in your life that will benefit your overall health. Here are some of the counseling tips for a beginner’s guide on a holistic approach.
Anxiety and Depression Association of America conferred that about 40 million American adults are affected by anxiety every year. It is quite a massive problem to think it is 18% of the population and most of these cases lead to suicide if not treated appropriately.
Laughter is the best medicine. This adage is backed up by scientific facts and human experience. And in a fast-paced life filled with stress and heartache, a little laughter could go a long way. The world could seem like a dark and depressing place for most people. But, occasionally, something genuinely funny pops out from the rubble, and it wouldn’t hurt to laugh at life’s little blunders from time to time. As what William James—an American physician, philosopher, and educator, who many consider the father of modern psychology—intelligently said, “We don’t laugh because we’re happy. We’re happy because we laugh.”
Some people may have only seen life coaches on television sitcoms and comedy movies such as Yes Man starring Jim Carrey. However, this is a very stereotypical portrayal of life coaches that may perpetuate many misconceptions and myths about the profession.
In this fast-paced world where everything is instant and ready-to-go, people often forget the value of leisure and slow growth. Individuals are equipped with a mindset that everything should be done as quickly as possible to tick the next thing on the checklist. Society made it a necessity to have a fast-moving regime to avoid the frightening thought of competitors emerging and being one step ahead of us.